Top 10 Signs Your a Bad Driver

Surely you've seen them on the road: They're swerving in and out of lanes, ignoring rules of the road, and engaging in other rude -- and dangerous -- behavior. Or maybe you are that bad driver?

1. I'm the Mobile RoadWarrior and my 2nd office is the car. I can do whatever I please, including taking a phonecall with my mobile phone sandwiched between my ear and shoulder. Sure its uncomfortable and it obstructs the movement of the arm and indirectly the control of my steering wheel, but what the heck?

2. Nothing like drive-in meals to lock in that extra punch into any road trip. A ciggarette in the mouth and a bowl of instant noodles in your other hand while your thumbs rests gently on your steering wheel screams mega car-control. Oh yea whenever possible try to have a glass of champagne lodged in-between your legs too. You will be the envy of all motorbikers.

3. MISSION : Locate Parking Space...Top Priority...Forget about other cars and pedestrians, they are expendable, proceed at all costs...

4. Slow, pathetic, junk and lousy piece of "KNNBCCB" are just some of the terms used to describe lorries, vans and SUVs...ah yes every speed demon's bane; to be caught behind one of these losers in an illegal race. What to do? Cut out from behind them and aggressively overtake the old toad while your at it, proceed to show him your middle finger as you wind down your tinted black window.

5. Uh-oh...TP behind me...time to drive like a normal law-abidding citizen.

6. The faster the song the harder I depress on the accelerator. The beat gives me a high which translates into the need to make my car go faster. Slow mouldy songs are reserved for sunday drives to the market.

7. The road belongs to my father, I can do as I please, which includes stopping your car. Dragging you out of it and beating the daylights out of you.

8. *YAWNZ* hmmm...feeling sleepy...it's another 5 minutes till the next traffic junction...maybe I should take a nap? zzz...

9. Oh yea driving with a "Chiobu", since its' an automatic car, this frees up one hand. Leaving me to errr...tickle her in a certain way. Who cares about the road? My eyes are fixated on her!!!

10. STOP Sign? thats for wimps and L-plate lumboo-s!!! My car stops for no one.

Total Pandemonium

I told myself I ain't posting another article about SARS (Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome) but after almost a month, sadly there is no end in sight. China has come clean on it's total cases involving SARS and it's staggering. Hong Kong is still buried in new emerging cases, right here in Singapore, we are already living in a pre-post SARS conditions.While the world is still come to terms with the extend of this global threat, it saddens me that SARS has not only hit my country, but my neighbourhood as well.

Now it wasn't too long ago (Well about 1 week) when I awoke one fine sunny weekend to find that Singapore's main wholesale centre for fresh vegetables under quarantine. The reason? A number of workers there caught the mysterious virus and became stricken by its ailments. This prompted local authorities to shut the entire centre down for decontamination and to try to control the spread. Needless to say, 2400 people were identified as potential carriers from this operation.

What were Singaporeans' immediate response to this? A fanatic outburst of vegetable buying thats what. It was total anarchy at the local wet market's baskets were swiped clean, supermarket aisles were bare. Every possible form of veggies were all sold out! Even hawkers selling vegetable dishes were not spared, since you can't lay your hands on uncooked ones why not just buy those from hawkers and save yourself the hassle of cooking. (The Singaporean mentality: Everything also want) I remembered my mom coming home from marketing in the afternoon complaining that there were no veggies left. Dinner that night consisted of preserved lettuce and a vast variety of meat.

Anyway fast forward to the following day. The police were alerted to a possible case involving a 72-year old man who worked at the wholesale centre and had since went to see the doctor. But what's the catch you ask? The guy just lives a few blocks down the road!!! Well the story goes like this, his wife had just passed away, case was classified as heart failure. But shortly after that the old man developed SAR-like symptoms as well and consulted the doctor. On re-examination it was concluded that he indeed contracted SARS.

By then he had numerous contacts with people, these included his immediate family, his neighbours and those in the vicinity of his house. The guy covered a wide area, the whole of Serangoon Central was affected. the coffeeshop S-11 was a prime spot which the old man frequented, incidentally the area has been vacated for inspection purposes. But the extend of his actions has already stirred up huge waves of reprecussions. Anyone in my estate could be a potential carrier. I don't even know how safe is it for me to take the public transport now. Of course for those not living here, it's just a trivial matter, but the bottomline is, that this could happen in your neighbourhood too.

Not that I want to drag this depressing piece of news, but I urge all global citizens, regardless of age, race, gender or religion and whichever country you hail from, please be responsible for your actions. If you are down with SARS please play your part by not letting it spread to more people. This is the only way we can only and surely overcome this invisible enemy.

My Own Top 9 List of...

Typical Singaporean Responses When Asked About Singapore Supporting The US In The Iraq War

1. Bo Chup : "Don’ch know what you mean"

2. Blur King : "Clue, please?"

3. The Student : "How can? This question not in syllabus one!"

4. Model Citizen : "Yes, if our Gahmen says so, it must be corright"

5. The Patriot : "Yes, if the US helps us invade Malaysia next"

6. Football Nut : "No, I support Man United"

7. The 'mat : "If answer wrong, can balik or not?"

8. Karma Sutra Reader : "Yes! The doggie position is my favourite!"

9. Watching Too Much Gameshows : "Is this my final answer?"

My hunt for the elusive compilation album "Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps" continues. The album is selling better than hotcakes, almost everywhere I looked, from Sembawang CD, CD-Rama to HMV its all SOLD OUT!!! But I'm not buying the CD mind you, I just need to take note of all the songs on that album (most of which are really old songs but they just sound really great) and download it all from Kazaa, "muhahaha~!!!" Anyway, the search goes on...

Partially FREE

I've finished all those assignments for this semester! "Woot!!!" Now all that is left are the dreaded EXAMS...Oh well, I can breathe a little easier now. Work has literally taken up my entire life, what little I have for myself is devoted to studying. Poor me? Oh well, it's part of my long term goal, I guess suffering now and enjoying the benefits later is better than amounting to nothing in the future.

Devils Skewer The Magpies

How about last night's match between my Manchester United against Newcastle? Simply Stunning is all I can say...after being crushed 3-1 by Real Madrid in last week's opener, Man U redeemed themselves by skinning a rather clueless Newcastle. Paul Scholes showed why he wasn't England's top midfielder for nothing hammering a hat trick into Newcastle's pitch. Well the rest should I say was sweet history, 6-2 to the Devils...well done even without that cocky Beckham!